No TPP for your Bunghole, Pinko Mike Flynn & The Fifth Spice Girl Jan. 23, 2017

Today is Trump’s first business day and he’s been busy indeed. His work day began with a flick of Trumps wrist, as his tiny hand signed away the TPP, memorandums to freeze federal government hiring (except the military) and reinstated a ban on providing federal money to international groups that perform abortions or even provide information on the option.

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But the day didn’t end there. Trump hung out with US business leaders and warned of “substantial border taxes” to those that left the US and “yuge tax advantages” to those that stayed in the US.

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Meanwhile, the Trump teams national security advisor, Mike Flynn, is under investigation for phone calls to Russia’s US ambassador. While the phone calls were captured using “routine” surveillance techniques, officials said the contents of the call raised some flags.

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However, don’t think that was the end of the day for Team Trump. The fifth “Spice(r) Girl” was discovered at the first WH press conference.

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Doubling down on yesterdays “alternative facts” Sean Spicer–the Fifth Spice Girl–claimed his alternative facts that Trump’s inauguration was the biggest ever witnessed in person and around the world, period. 31.7 million view for Trump, 42.9 million for Obama in 2009 according to CNN.

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We’ve obtained exclusive photos of Trump inauguration that proves Trump’s inauggie was bigger than Obama’s.

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Although the days events grabbed the media by the pussy, it was overshadowed by events earlier in the morning. Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, filed a lawsuit to sue the president for breaching the Emoluments Clause in the US constitution that bars him from taking gifts or payments from foreign governments. The lawyer working on the case, Norm Eisen, told the NYT that he hoped the suit could also produce a copy of Trump’s tax returns, detailing the business he does with foreign states such as China and Russia.

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And to think–it’s only the first Monday of the work week for our dear leader.

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